Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Something's got a hold on me...and I don't know what.

So you've noticed - you straggling few followers of this screed - that my orts of writing have dwindled in frequency over the past year or so. It's due to a number of reasons, but I think the main thing underlying this is that - gasp! - I'm growing up. For some reason (and actually, I'm pretty sure I know why), I've been feeling more like an adult. Not just in that sense, but also in the sense of starting to look at things I've done in the past that seem a bit adolescent. This blog has been an opportunity for me to indulge my inner teenager...the one who likes to be snarky and subversive. I'm changing. It's weird to go through a second adolescence at this stage in my life, but that's exactly what it feels like...well, minus the social awkwardness, random hard-ons, and cracking voice. On the other hand, my facial hair has been filling out the point where I've felt comfortable growing a beard for the first time in my life. Go fig. And my voice does seem to be deepening a bit more. Seriously...I'm not making this up.

I've also noticed somewhat of an aversion to outright hedonism. For example, I went to Provincetown last week for Bear Week. Here's my (admittedly judgmental) mindset. What happens when you take a bunch of gay men with plenty of disposable income, no children or wives to hold them down, and unleash them on a town where they can party to their heart's content? They turn into man-children. No sense of responsibility, just party all the time. Maybe it's them, but at this point, it's definitely not me. I feel like I've outgrown that stage of my life. Oh, and when I tried to indulge in the party scene all week last week, my body rebelled. Vertigo for the first time in my life, and when I got home, a flu for my penance. Just no fun. I'm all for fun, but I think my personal definition of fun is changing...and it doesn't involve these huge party weeks or weekends anymore. At least where consuming large quantities of alcohol are concerned. (Yes, yes, I know...I've said this before...but I feel more solid in saying so nowadays.)

It almost seems weird to continue writing in this blog when my mindset doesn't seem to fit it anymore. I'd rather start a new blog than stick with this one. I mean, the blog's title is a wry nod to the fact that I wanted to start a band in college called the Misplaced Apostrophe's. The tagline is one of those random messages you would see on IRC back in college (remember that chat engine, kids?) if you typed in a certain code. A lot of posts look back at my past, most specifically at high school. I thought about doing a series of posts like these - but for college - but I just can't muster up the enthusiasm for it anymore.

Interestingly enough, I'm in the midst of a huge transition in life - witness the past few posts I've made - and perhaps letting this blog be, while starting a new one, is in my near future. Not to worry...if this is the path I take, I won't be erasing this blog. Too much that's awesome here. But I'll be starting a new one - one where I feel more comfortable writing more adult things and not offending my inner adolescent. I'll keep you all posted.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've just been led here in my search for a misplaced apostrophe, of which you appear to have none. Still, after reading your last two posts, I can't help but feel some ... good feels -- about you and wherever you went from here. I can look for that misguided apostrophe another time