The gayest video in the whole history of...the whole history!

This video is so many iridescent shades of FABULOUS I don't know where to start. I'm now looking at the world through rainbow-colored, triangle-shaped glasses.

1980s in full force, bitches! An aerobics competition! Sponsored by Crystal Light! Bright! Colors! Everywhere! Geometric shapes! Big hair and bangs! Cardigans with shoulder pads! Alan Thicke!

I would stop with the exclamation points, but there's such high energy I can't stop! Someone help me!

And these preening gym bunnies from the San Francisco Bay Club! Hot! Working an aerobics routine choreographed to Devo on speed and performed within a millimeter of its airbrushed life! Ass slaps and high kicks all 'round!

Now. I defy you to be depressed for the rest of the day.